Review: Rita Therese – Come

Come
Rita Therese

“Rita Therese is a 25-year-old sex worker, artist and writer based in Melbourne, Australia. She entered the sex industry at age 18, and has worked as a stripper, porn and as an escort. She currently works as an escort under the alias Gia James. She has written for magazines like Frankie, Vice and Penthouse Australia, and had a monthly sex and dating column for Sneaky magazine.”

I wanted this to be new and innovative, but in the end I actually felt disappointed. I’ve read a similar novel/memoir in the past that still stuck with me. What really frustrated me about this was that it had a ‘fearless new talent’ but the writing itself wasn’t that amazing. It seemed to reply on shock factor, and speed, in order to keep the reader interested.

Arg! The biggest irritation for me was the way that the timeline endlessly jumped around. The novel seems to open at the end, where Rita has already lost her two older brothers to suicide. But then it jumps between when she is just starting out as a topless waiter through to being a porn star, and then back to working at a brothel. Honestly I wasn’t sure what was going on. Maybe some more informative chapter headings would help? I wasn’t sure if her abusive relationship was before her rape or her brothers’ deaths, or something else. It made it hard for me to follow the storyline.

Some of the things that Rita tells you how to do are honestly really gross, and probably not very healthy for your biological workings! I am slightly worried that some people might think of this as a ‘how to’ in terms of getting into sex work, and take some of the things she’s described as good things to try at home. If you’re looking at getting into kink or exploring your own sexual side more (nothing wrong with that!) perhaps I could suggest Oh Joy Sex Toy? As the name suggests, this comic takes a light hearted approach to reviewing sex toys, discussing kinks and quirks, and also takes on sexual health.

One of the few things I appreciated about this book was that Rita does touch on the fact that she attended therapy to help her cope. But I’m not sure her ‘alternative’ lifestyle should be blamed at all for her personal failings. Not all sex workers are drug-riddled alcoholics? If you’ve looked at an AMA, or watched You Can’t Ask That you’ll know that sex workers can have healthy sex lives as well as working.

An interesting exposé that provides an ironically happy and sexual read that will last you at least as long as a night out at a club (and make you think about what the dancers are doing in the ‘spare time’ they have). Remember that sex workers are people too, and that they are all different. There’s nothing wrong with this book, I just wish it was a bit better organised.

Allen & Unwin | 31st March 2020 | AU$29.99 | paperback

Review: Lucia Osborne-Crowley – I Choose Elena

I Choose Elena
Lucia Osborne-Crowley

Lucia Osborne-Crowley was on track to be an Olympic gymnast. She knew her body intimately and knew where she was going. On a night out age 15 she was violently raped, setting off a chain of events that lead to a life of chronic illness.

This memoir almost moved me to tears with the hopelessness and frustration that leaked out of its pages. How could no-one help Lucia when she was obviously in so much pain? Surely bleeding from the vagina should always be treated as serious. I guess that this was some years ago, when endometriosis and Crohn’s Disease were poorly understood, and even more poorly treated.

The statistics that Osborne-Crowley provides the reader with are unsurprising. Men tend to get help/pain relief faster than women, and their complaints tend to be taken more seriously. Yet which gender is it that goes through childbirth? Women are more resilient in my opinion, and Osborne-Crowley has done a fantastic job of making her story accessible and increasing awareness about trauma recovery.

Unlike Foul is Fair, this memoir deals with the subject of rape gracefully and sensitively. Rape is a triggering subject, but this book doesn’t dwell on the rape, instead depicting This reads so smoothly it could almost be fiction – yet I only wish that this was fiction because then Lucia would not have had to go through such hell.

I’d recommend this book both for people who have experienced similar trauma, and those that haven’t. It is a relatively gentle and pleasurable read that highlights both the importance of coming to terms with trauma through counselling and reading literature. Fantastic non-fiction.

Allen & Unwin | 18th February 2020| AU$16.99 | paperback

Review: Anna Blackie – How to Adult

How to Adult
Anna Blackie

“This is the ultimate guide to all of the things a fully functioning adult should know to survive in the big scary world. Packed with sage advice from a real-life hopeless millennial, this book will keep you from starvation, make folding fitted sheets a reality, and teach you to look like a real professional adult when you’re actually just an incompetent trash human. Adulting goals AF.”

It’s really sad that some people need this book to function. Google has (almost) all the answers after all. This is a very accessible book, but I would hope that most people are past the level of knowledge offered here. If you’re not sure how to boil an egg or something, wouldn’t you just google it?

I’m not sure that this book is going to help you ‘not [be] a trash human’. I’m pretty sure you can be a horrible person and also still master the basics of becoming an adult.

The most entertaining part of this book is the chapter headings eg. “Budgeting: Because lottery tickets are not a financial plan”! Yes, this is true, and some people might need this. If anything, I think the most important part of this novel is about money. It’s hard to find a reputable source out there about money, and I don’t think nearly enough teaching about money is done in schools / by parents. If you only read one chapter, let it be that one.

I’d buy this as a tongue in cheek book for someone who is really well put together, or unironically for someone really derpy in my life. Maybe as an 18th birthday gift? There’s nothing like this book, but I’m not sure that it was really a gap that needed to be filled in this way, at least.

Allen & Unwin | 7th January 2020 | AU$24.99 | hardcover

Review: Thea Hayes – A Country Nurse

A Country Nurse
Thea Hayes

“Thea Hayes spent twenty years living and working on Wave Hill Station in the Northern Territory. She arrived as a twenty-two-year-old nurse from Sydney, but when she left in 1979 she was married with four children and eager for her next adventure.”

This is more like a teaser rather than a collection of stories. Although the chapter headings lead me to believe that each chapter would be its own little narrative, instead the narrative seemed to jump around a lot. There’s too much packed in, and not enough details.

This doesn’t have the personal details that I need to be entranced by a book. I wanted to hear about Thea’s personal connection with some of her palliative care patients, or a stronger link to her customers in the shop. Even her brush with cancer seemed indifferent, and I didn’t actually care about her family members enough to remember their names. I also felt that her views on Australian Aboriginal treatment were quite antiquated and not well informed. If they aren’t how she saw them, she should do something about it!

My mom was a nurse, and she collects nursing fiction (she’s also impossible to buy presents for!). Thus I’m always on the lookout for more fiction that she might enjoy. Would I normally fork out $29.99 for this book? No, I definitely wouldn’t. Maybe if someone was potentially interested in nursing stories, but enjoyed a loose narrative by a nurse, this would be a book for them.

Allen & Unwin | 7th January 2020 | AU$29.99 | paperback

Review: Laura Greaves – Miracle Mutts

Miracle Mutts
Laura Greaves

“Heartwarming stories of dogs that survived – and thrived – against the odds. It’s no secret that dogs have indomitable spirits, that they’re tireless workers and have boundless energy. But it’s when everything seems hopeless that their grit and determination really shines through. Whether sick or injured, lost or abandoned, recovering from cruelty or neglect, it’s the underdogs of the world who have the most to teach us.”

Wow, I actually also learnt some things from this novel! Did you know that there is such a thing as a ‘Bali dog’ type? And that sadly, they’re interbreeding with common imported dogs, so the breed is being lost. Also, that they eat dog (which I don’t have a problem with) but that some people think that they taste better after the dog has been tortured? Anyway, there were some cool facts and there was certainly a swing to also educate the reader about different dog breeds and their misconceptions.

The author truly cares for dogs and it’s apparent throughout the book that she would do anything for them. The people described in the novel with their animals also show that characteristic. Some of the dogs come from some really horrible abusive circumstances, and yet they are able to rise over it.

Do you have a dog-lover in your house? Are you looking for a novel Christmas present for them? This would be the perfect book for them. These inspiring stories have dogs at the heart.

Penguin Random House | 5th November 2019 | AU$34.99 | paperback

Review: CN Lester – Trans Like Me

Trans Like Me
CN Lester

“What does it mean to be transgender? How do we discuss the subject? In this eye-opening book, CN Lester, academic and activist, takes us on a journey through some of the most pressing issues concerning the trans debate”

This is likely to be an alienating book. What self-respecting straight cis-gendered person would want to be caught reading it? Well, they should want to be caught reading it, because it’s a good book with plenty of helpful information and insights. The publicizing of ‘Call me Caitlin’ and the like should hopefully bring this book to the fore as a ‘real’ or ‘regular’ person’s journey in being trans* (rather than someone with unlimited money and resources).

I feel slightly ambivalent about this book – because I’m not trans* and I’m guilty of some of those oversights of non-gender-queer people. I work with students who might be gender diverse, and I try to take care with my pronouns, but sometimes I make mistakes. I wear my Ally badge with pride at work, and I’m not shy about the fact I’m married to a woman. But I do feel a little awkward at the thought of asking someone what pronouns they prefer.

I once enjoyed following George.Jessie.Love where the mother of Jessie (once George) talked about some of the problems and joys of life of having a child who is transgender. I can’t imagine having a child who doesn’t identify as either gender and how hard that could be for the parents and the child. Another blogger that I respect quietly transitioned the pronouns she used for her two sons into a daughter and a son. Whether you shout about being trans* and proud of it, or you quietly get on with life, there are unique challenges that come with it that are discussed in some depth in this book.

I’m not sure that this is ‘a journey for all of us’. I’m not sure that this book is even going to be looked at twice by cis-people that haven’t ever thought about non-binary genders. I think that within the Queer community this book would find readers, but not necessarily outside of it.

Hachette Australia | 20th June 2017 | AU$22.99 | paperback

Review: Amanda McClelland – Emergencies Only

Emergencies Only:
An Australian nurse’s journey through natural disasters, extreme poverty, civil wars and general chaos
Amanda McClelland

“In 2015, Amanda McClelland was awarded the Florence Nightingale Medal, in recognition of an extraordinary career dedicated to making a difference. As a nurse and a humanitarian aid worker she has battled against extreme poverty, disease epidemics and natural disasters, helping to rebuild broken lives and strengthen communities across the globe.”

I expected something more like Aussie Midwives or Island Nurses with more individual nursing stories. What I got though was a discussion of humanitarian aid and her movements from plain nursing through to team management and recommendations. Everything is underlined by her compassion and practicality as well.

Ew! Some of these stories are likely to horrify a weak-stomached reader. I couldn’t stop thinking about her just casually slicing out a pus filled ulcer on her chest! Others are just horrifyingly sad – mothers who lose their lives and also their babies, or babies that can’t possibly survive. She’s not a midwife, but looking after children and improving mortality rates ends up being a huge part of her job.

In a way, this book reminds me of How (not) to Start an Orphanage – it has both what should and shouldn’t be done, and talks about the hardships on essentially white people living in third world countries. Sometimes the interventions create more problems than they solve. Amanda really illuminates how the best of intentions can lead to problems if they aren’t carried out with the community’s support and full understanding.

What upsets me in general (not about this book at all) is how sometimes things at home should have been fixed before we go elsewhere to aid others. Amanda works in an indigenous community that is filled with drug and alcohol fueled violence and horrible living conditions in places. Maybe we should try to work out how we can help our own people first?

Review: Kenneth Ring – Waiting to Die

Waiting to Die:
A Near-Death Researcher’s (Mostly Humorous) Reflections on His Own Endgame
Kenneth Ring

“During his many years researching the near-death experience (NDE), Dr. Kenneth Ring was concerned with answering the question, “What is it like to die?” In this book of fifteen sparkling and delightfully witty essays, his question becomes more personal, “What is it like waiting to die?” More specifically, what is it like for an octogenarian who has spent half his life studying and writing about NDEs to face his own mortality? ”

I was offered this book to review, and I was attracted to it because the author writes and researches near-death experiences (NDEs). Cool! I thought to myself. I’ll get some interesting insights from this book of essays. The earlier essays were entertaining and informative, and I enjoyed reading them. As I went through them however I enjoyed them less. Perhaps I just don’t relate well to an aging man with prostate problems?

I’ve never feared death, so NDEs don’t freak me out. I think for someone who might be facing death presumably sooner than I would appreciate it! Growing old is a process, and I suppose dying of natural causes is also. The thing that resonated with me the most was that Kenneth reflects on being one of his last friends standing! Old age kills off your friends and family.

Something else the book raised for me was the research into near death lucidity, where people with dementia or similar mental losses suddenly revert to their old selves when dying. A fascinating concept that I would like to read more about for sure. I’m interested to read more of Kenneth’s professional work, even if ultimately this collection was not for me.

I’ve never been one for reading books of essays, any more than I like short stories. I like to have something really meaty to sink my teeth into. So that might have been one of the problems with this book. I think that different people are going to get different things, and not all of them are going to enjoy or appreciate all the essays. I’m on vacation right now, so I’m going to be releasing it into the wild. I hope that someone else enjoys it more!

Review: Elena Dunkle & Clare Dunkle – Elena Vanishing

Elena Vanishing
Elena Dunkle & Clare Dunkle

Elena doesn’t have anorexia or an eating disorder or anxiety. She just carefully controls what she eats to make sure that she maintains the right number. When she doesn’t know what that number is, she can’t think straight – and she certainly can’t trust a psychologist to help her think straight either.

This is the true story of Elena’s recovery from anorexia as well as some of the causes and compulsions that underlie her disorder. What I found striking about this novel was that Elena is a caring person by nature, and yet she can’t care for herself. The root of the problem doesn’t become apparent until later in the book. We think that perhaps her sister has something to do with it, but ultimately that isn’t it. While I would have liked to know more about her sister, I also respect the family’s privacy.

Wow, the guts it must have taken for Elena to write this book with her mother. This is a memoir – so don’t expect it to be an easy read. What it is, is a raw and painful read that pulled at me and made me feel physically ill with Elena at the same time. I felt everything with her intimately. I’d like to read the memoir of Clare Dunkle now so that I can see the other side and perhaps get a bigger picture. It feels a little wrong of me to be so invested in personal aspects of their lives, but at the same time I’m so grateful to them for letting the reader in.

From the beginning of the book it was painful for me to read. If you have or have had an eating disorder or OCD you should think very carefully about reading this book as it has the potential to be really triggering. It’s not the rosy picture of recovery from an eating disorder that many fiction novels have – this is both deeply horrifying and reassuring at the same time. I’m not sure how to explain that exactly, but I guess it’s that the person themselves must be ready to change and that the science behind eating disorder treatment is constantly changing.

It’s horrifying to me that some people who need help won’t receive it because their insurance won’t pay. That someone with a life-threatening condition can just be kicked out if they can afford treatment. Would a hospital just toss someone out if they needed a heart bypass to survive, but they couldn’t pay? It seems like they wouldn’t – but anything that is perceived to be a personal problem or self-created problem like an eating disorder or mental illness doesn’t come under the same category of care. It’s not good enough, even if I don’t have a solution.

Review: Kristen Hadeed – Permission to Screw Up (S)

Permission to Screw Up
Kristen Hadeed

“This is the story of how Kristen Hadeed built Student Maid, a cleaning company where people are happy, loyal, productive, and empowered, even while they’re mopping floors and scrubbing toilets. It’s the story of how she went from being an almost comically inept leader to a sought-after CEO who teaches others how to lead.”

My wife listened to this book as an audiobook on long car rides, and I listened to some of it with her. This book was narrated to great effect by the author. This was amazing because although there was the standard business techniques that you get in any book, they were told as part of an enthralling story. It was told in such a way that the reader felt like they were there with Kristen, and wanted to know what would happen next. There were no bits where I was bored!

I felt like it was a longer than normal talking book that I would listen to, but it didn’t feel that long. [Rose notes that it clocks in at 5.5 hours(as opposed to Get to the Point, which was only two hours)]. I don’t normally like reading things twice, but there were some parts that I HAVE read again, such as the techniques of how to FBI (it’s a feedback technique).

Anyone in a leadership role, not just owning your own business (also middle manager, team leader etc) should read this book. There are business books out there that contradict themselves but this book tell you that even if others say that this is the ‘best way’, if it doesn’t suit your team, don’t push something that isn’t working.

The book by itself was 4 stars, but with the reading it’s 5 stars. The author helped. It sounded as if it wasn’t a book, it was a story. I’m not sure if the author had put in side notes that weren’t in the text, but it sounded like it. It felt like even when she ‘renamed’ characters, it was real in the story.

Some of the techniques that she uses and decided as really good should be highlighted more – like shit sandwiches, but FBI is better than that. They were explained equally, but more emphasis should be put on the FBI. The FBI method stands for: feelings, behavior, impact. It starts with saying how you feel, and then your feedback-ee can’t argue that and get off topic. What is the impact on the relationship, company, team, client etc? Feedback shouldn’t be an ordeal and a sit down session. Everyone in a team should be able to give FBI.

The take home message from this book is that team company culture is important and how to give feedback using the FBI method. Always keep trying different things, and if that isn’t working for you in those circumstances, try something else.